he told me this is his last day of working... it makes me wonder what happen. that's the problem, people like my age dont make drastic move anymore, we don't keep on changing job and we make decision after we thought it through... y am i always attracting guys that are either mentally weaker than me or superior than me? i am not asking some sort of superman that gonna carry me all the way through, i am just seeking someone that strong enough to walk by his own, and i can walk by his side...

在這熟悉的城市，冬天的季節，保持身體溫暖像是大腦唯一可以集中的目標。與老朋友的聚會總是很開心，彼此交換訊息與近況。聽到好友說她表妹的丈夫沒有上進心，說她不會選擇這樣的男子。想起自己最近的選擇，不知是否正確。我與他之間的距離不是年齡的差異，而是因為年資的差異而造成我們社會地位的差異。我已算是上岸了，而他還在掙扎。若我年紀還小，還能經得起蹉跎，仍能下注，但是這最後一人我卻必須謹慎，除非我願意做 bread winner.  我想相信他是我緣分中的人，但是我不知他值不值得。愛他嗎？我已不再會全心全意愛上一個人，不再那麼純粹，那麼天真。。。不愛嗎？那麼快樂，強烈的吸引力，不能否認。。。

Coming back to this town that I familiar with makes all sorts of complicated feelings flow through me. Same old house that I left, things all over the living room, cold weather that pretty hard to bear with, quiet environment like a vacuum place, all sorts of spices and sauces in the pantry, I feel home... Issit cause it's small and cozy and spacious makes you feel empty? Finally, I can sit in front of the computer and watch dramas and movies. It is more like I have my own space now even though I m staying at other's house now. It is kind of weird.

I do miss you, your warm big hand and broad shoulder..