被寵壞的女人？

今天我独自一人驾车到Mid Valley, 全程大约50分钟。我驾的小心翼翼，到了之后，艰难地找到泊车位，我对自己说，我再也不要驾车来这。我想我是不是被他们宠坏了？在马来西亚，我很少需要自己驾车出游，都是矜贵地由他人载我。没男友或追求者的女生是真的没那么矜贵吧，可是我有自由。也许我并没有自己想像中如此独立自主，不然我心中就不会有委屈的感觉。什么东西都有代价。

The Journey 一路有你，導演的確拍出了新意，是一部能感動人的影片。然，當我聽見片中的英國男孩的腔調時，竟然勾起我對Perth的思念。那種英式英語在馬來西亞的方言與說話的方式襯托下竟讓我覺得親切。留學外國改變了我。在Perth時，我總是覺得自己沒能在那安居樂業，以此為家，不知道這裡還是不是我心裡深處想要的家？

回程時，天空也有藍天白雲，周圍是醜醜的，舊舊的房屋，像是一幅黯淡的畫，喜不喜歡就見仁見智。于我，就像在看一部滑稽的影片， 有一種難以形容的感覺。

總覺得每個在我身邊的人，都或多或少想從我身上得到一些東西，也許我應該如此想：我能給別人什麼，而不是別人在我身上得到了什麼。可是，總是不由自主地想，若我不是父母眼中（世俗眼中）令他們驕傲的孩子，他們對我的愛會少一些嗎？會少些關注嗎？若我叛逆任性，他們是否還會無條件愛我？我深深地懷疑。。。

the 'Newbie'

Here, my home, with my family is my reality world. Perth is like an isolated world to me. I work in the morning, come home, cook and rest. Pay the bills, meet up with friends regularly, planning for next trips, searching for good restaurant, speaking my second language - English. People might say, it sounds the same as all the others' reality world. No, they are wrong. My society circles here is much larger. I have to take time out to socialise with relatives. I have to attend wedding and funerals. I have to answer others' questions frequently and often ask help from others instead of just google. I start to make plans, or place myself into the plans for my whole family. All these was ignored when I was at Perth, as it just felt like it was far away from me. But now I am the newbie that gonna blend in into this society that is once familar to me. I am out of my comfort zone. I am scared, anxious and under stress. While standing in front of all these unknowns, I nearly lose my courages and to run away. Just run back to Perth, or just simply marry a guy and be the house wife. Yet, there is no way to run, I have to walk through the fog with all the confident i could have and find my way.